Where's the romance in your networking?

A few years ago I was single and attending the occasional speed dating event and singles night. At one of these events it occurred to me that there wasn't too much difference between my talk on networking skills and good advice for people on the dating scene.

After all, I was recommending that people be courageous and approach others despite their fear of rejection; be committed in their conversation with that person and in following up and to be patient. In my talks I shared how people are interested in people who are interested in them; advised them to pursue the relationship, not the sale (interpret that how you will!) and finally to ask for what you want!

I was reminded of this recently in an exchange on the social networking site Twitter. I had tweeted about the importance of building relationships with your network outside of the formal platform, whether that be an online site or face to face meetings. I immediately got a response from someone I hadn't previously interacted with suggesting that we meet. 

Now, I love to meet new people and am always open to new connections. However, my diary forces me to be selective. It might be a fair response to my tweet to offer a meeting, but where was the romance? You are far more likely to win a date with an attractive person if you engage with them first. Get them to find out what makes you attractive and good company before suggesting the next step. How likely would you be to accept a date from a stranger who approached you out of the blue? 

It is the same in networking. I regularly meet with people who engage regularly with me on social networks and who I feel I have got to know. In fact, I get to the point where I want to meet them, because making personal contact is the next natural step. 

But it's a process. Engage with people first. Build rapport. Then, when the mood is right and the romance is in full swing...invite them on a date and see where the magic takes you.