Take Yourself Out of the Equation

If you are good at bringing people together and making the right connections, you have the potential to position yourself at the centre of a very powerful universe. 

On Thursday evening I was invited to attend a dinner hosted by Vanessa Vallely. Vanessa works for a major bank in the City of London by day, but also runs her own website for women working in the City (WearetheCity) and a network bringing together women's networks and Heads of Diversity in large organisations (TNON). Vanessa had decided to throw a dinner to thank the people in her network who had supported her and to bring them together. 

34 of us got together at the newly renovated Renaissance St Pancras Hotel. The guest list was very impressive, with representatives from a range of large City institutions, a well known talent agent, successful tailor, Chamber Chief Executive, successful entrepreneurs, charities, authors, speakers and advisors to Government. Vanessa had clearly done her homework and seated people alongside others she felt they ought to meet to accelerate the chances of valuable connections being made. 

I was recently asked on Twitter for my thoughts on what makes a successful networking event. My first ingredient was to ensure that you have a good mix of attendees who share something in common. Well, last Thursday evening was one of the best networking events I have had the pleasure of attending. The room buzzed and everyone was laughing and joking with each other. 

Afterwards emails flew around from attendees, most of them unstinting in their praise of Vanessa. Not just for her efforts at bringing everyone together, but expressing a genuine appreciation of what she brings to her network and to her friends. 

Vanessa didn't host the dinner because she was looking to gain anything or sell anything. She genuinely just wanted to bring a group of people she valued because she believes that there are tremendous opportunities for us all to help each other and work together. All she asks for is to be told when 'magic happens'. 

Vanessa will, however, gain a huge amount from her generosity. Maybe not immediately, but when she needs support there will be a very powerful network in place who will not just be willing to help her, but who will want to. 

Effective networking starts with thinking about what you can give to others, not what you can get. The early twentieth century writer and poet, Elizabeth Bibesco, said “Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.” Follow those wise words and Vanessa's example, take yourself out of the equation and simply connect people.

You will always then find the support is there for you when you need it.